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The Wicked Plan of Two Superheroes 2/Transcript
This is the transcript for The Wicked Plan of Two Superheroes 2. Transcript Green Arrow: I'm getting tired of all these Saturday morning cartoon characters! Phase 1: Sell the master tapes of those cartoons to budding network Freeform. The Flash: Freeform? Don't you mean ABC Family? Green Arrow: ABC Family is no more. (cut to Gorge's house) Gorge: What's going on? Chrome: Well, Gorge... what do you think what's going on? Two superheroes are planning a sale with budding network Freeform. Gorge: Are you referring to ABC Family? Chrome: It's not ABC Family anymore. Gorge: I'm on my way. (cut to the offices of The CW) Green Arrow: Well, time to steal those master tapes. The Flash: And then what? Green Arrow: You know what's next. (Green Arrow and The Flash take all the master tapes of the 1980s/1990s cartoons away) (cut to Bart Simpson seeing a bunch of master tapes) Bart: If I'm not mistaken, those are every single master tape of PB&J Otter to date... (Green Arrow and The Flash burst in and take them) Bart: Hey! Those goons stole those tapes! Green Arrow: Dammit, he saw us! (Green Arrow and The Flash flee) Bart: And Maggie was going to be introduced to the show! (cut to New City Square) Doug: I like this job of painting a brick billboard. (Green Arrow and The Flash rush past Doug) (Doug puts on his BatDoug costume) BatDoug: And I love THIS job of fighting crime! (BatDoug rushes to fight Green Arrow and The Flash) BatDoug: Dammit, I forgot the metal fists! (Green Arrow and The Flash taze BatDoug) BatDoug: Ouch. Green Arrow: The show's in 30 minutes! Dammit! (Green Arrow and The Flash continue setting up the stage) BatDoug: Well, this isn't good. (cut to Chrome's house) Chrome: Hi, BatDoug. BatDoug: Chrome, they got me. They tazed me. Chrome: Ain't that the source of all comedy? BatDoug: Well, time to beat them up for stealing plenty of master tapes. Chrome: What do you mean... master tapes? BatDoug: They took $200,000 worth. Chrome: Dammit. (cut to Green Arrow and The Flash enacting their plan) Green Arrow: And you can pay us $200,000. Disney exec: Actually, you only get $160,000 worth. Remember that $40,000 worth of these are made by this company. Green Arrow: Whatever, as long as I walk away with at least $100,000. It's a deal! (the Disney exec and Green Arrow make a deal) (cut to Green Arrow watching Freeform Kids) Green Arrow: Anyday, that exec would be fired and the channel shut down, then we could head to Phase 2: Kidnap all cartoon characters from the 80s and 90s, except SpongeBob. The Flash: SpongeBob isn't on here. What the hell? Green Arrow: SpongeBob's too mainstream for us. We're only looking for obscure cartoons from the 80s and 90s. The Flash: Great. In any case, let's not capture Sophie! Green Arrow: Are you an idiot? The Flash: No, I've read this before. A hero recognizes that his or her friends have been captured, and he or she is lured to a trap! Green Arrow: Nice idea. Get me 100 trillion babbleberries! The Flash: 100 trillion? Why? We have no use for them! They're bitter to humans! Green Arrow: Exactly! Which is why we only use it on other animals, OK? The Flash: You've driven a hard bargain. (cut back to Gorge's house) Gorge: What's that loud noise? (cut to Green Arrow and The Flash performing a bunch of hypnotizing glam metal songs) Gorge: Hey, you! Please stop the music, OK? (Green Arrow and The Flash stop playing) Green Arrow: Everyone! Get all 80s-90s cartoon characters besides SpongeBob when we give the signal! The signal is "Begin Phase 2", real slow, but don't capture them yet! I want to tell you goodnight. Sleep tight until Phase 2. Gorge: I'm calling Disney's CEO. (Gorge calls Disney's CEO) Gorge: Hello? Are you Disney's CEO? Yeah, your Freeform executive took part in an illegal sale of master tapes. Can you fire that CEO and shut down Freeform Kids, please? Thank you! (Gorge hangs up) (cut to Green Arrow and The Flash spying on Gorge) Green Arrow: He doesn't know about Phase 2 yet! He will soon, though! The Flash: He doesn't know that the moment the Disney CEO fires the exec we sold a lot of stuff to, Phase 2 will begin. Green Arrow: I can almost taste getting rid of the one interference between me and a cartoon-free world. The Flash: The "no cartoon logic" button is one way to do that easily. Green Arrow: We're not trying to get rid of cartoon LOGIC, just Saturday morning cartoons. If we got rid of cartoon logic, we'd be human again. The Flash: Damn! There goes my suggestion. Green Arrow: Let's just wait for the Disney CEO's words. (cut to the Disney office) Disney CEO: Can't you believe what happened tonight? You bought $160,000 worth of rival cartoons! That's it! You're... (Green Arrow hears the words "fired" over and over in his head) Green Arrow: Well, I'll give him time for him to leave the building and head back home, and then... (the Disney exec is booted instantly back home) Green Arrow: Begin... phase... two. (hundreds of people wake up and start searching for obscure cartoon characters from the 80s/90s) The Flash: I am disappointed. Green Arrow: Why? The Flash: Gorge isn't up. Green Arrow: Exactly! He's not supposed to! He didn't watch our performance in its entirety! The Flash: That's all the obscurity retro-style? Green Arrow: Yep. Now we lure her into a trap with so many babbleberries. (cut to a pool of Babbleberries) The Flash: That's a lot for a soon-to-be-blimp. Green Arrow: No! They're not for her! They're for the Popples! Get your facts straight! The Flash: Wait, we caught them? Green Arrow: We're trying to lure Sophie, right? This is the only way we can! The Flash: Whatever happened to our lives as regular heroes? Green Arrow: As long as we're working for The CW, we can rest assured that we have plenty of hero insurance. The Flash: In that case... (cut back to Gorge's house) Gorge: Hey, Bagel! Bagel: Yes, Gorge? Gorge: Do you think that those two superheroes are... plotting something? Bagel: Yes. They're planning to put more babbleberries in Sophie than she could digest at a time. Gorge: Thank you. What should I be doing now? Bagel: Unless you feel like playing Fanick Scuffle, you might as well save the world. Gorge: The world... Bagel: Yes. Save the world, save the otter, save the obscurity. Gorge: You're right, Bagel. I do need to save the world. Any ideas to do it? Bagel: Well, first, you need some rope. Gorge: Rope, check. Bagel: Next, you need a grappling hook. Gorge: Grappling hook, check. Bagel: And that's it. Gorge: Now what? Bagel: Now go to the studios of The CW. (cut to the studios of The CW) Gorge: Are you sure this is allowed or something? Bagel: Yes. Trust me. (Gorge and Bagel attempt to enter the studio, only to be stopped by an orange blob) Bagel: Well, these are the most injuries I've had in a while. (Gorge tries to get through the blob, but he gets knocked out of the way) Gorge: We can't enter the studio normally. Turns out we do need that rope and grappling hook, after all. (cut to Gorge and Bagel using and grappling hook and rope) Gorge: Well, this has gotta be a long trip up. Especially with cartoon logic. Bagel: I see the studio's entrance! (Gorge and Bagel use the rope to enter the studio) Gorge: I'm worried about being in babbleberries for too long. (Bagel and Gorge land safely on the studio's floor) Green Arrow: How did you two get here? I've already had Sophie fall down here, and now she's tied up for a while... until we feed her babbleberries! Bagel: Feeding her babbleberries? Worst villain ever. Green Arrow: Babbleberries make a chemical that fattens a person up if you eat too many! Bagel: And now what? Gorge: I guess we have to wait for BatDoug. (BatDoug arrives) BatDoug: This is payback for tazing me! (BatDoug spins through the babbleberries) Green Arrow: Nice going, green puffball. You've made the Popples even bigger. BatDoug: You fiend! I'm gonna... (BatDoug falls asleep) (Green Arrow puts a tube in Sophie's mouth) Green Arrow: Now, let's see how'd Sophie like it! (Chrome destroys the tube, but it fixes itself) (Green Arrow turns to Gorge) Green Arrow: Any reason why you have no tube in your mouth? Because you're a human. Babbleberries have a bitter flavor to humans. (Green Arrow tosses Gorge out of the office) Gorge: If only the others would join me... (Chrome, Bagel and BatDoug are thrown out of the office) Bagel: More injuries! Chrome: Dents! BatDoug: An even stronger desire to fight crime! Gorge: We can't do anything against the fiend. Not alone, anyways. You see, before this stuff happened today, I talked to her... (cut to a flashback) Flashback Gorge: Remember that if something happens to you that involves weight, you can hope for cracks appearing on the building. Flashback Sophie: Hopefully, cracks can appear on the building if something happens. (flashback ends) (Gorge runs to the window) Gorge: Hey, Green Arrow. Don't you have sympathy? (Green Arrow pauses) Green Arrow: What do you mean, sympathy? Gorge: Don't you feel sympathetic? Green Arrow: Nope. Never. I just wanted to tear this building down. (cut to another flashback) (a destruction crew is set to wreck the building) (the wrecking balls fly off) Wrecker #1: Dammit! Wrecker #2: Now what? Flashback Green Arrow: Begin... phase... one. (flashback ends) Green Arrow: The irony is, we've moved into a new building. So we'll have plenty of hero insurance after this building crumbles away. The Flash: And what better to have it crumble away than with making wrecking balls? (Green Arrow starts up his machine) Green Arrow: It's warming up. It has to. (Green Arrow starts packing everything) (Green Arrow puts them in the trunk and drives to the new studio) (Gorge is still looking outside the window) Gorge: This is not good. (Green Arrow drives back to the old studio) Green Arrow: I'll set it on full blast, so the studio can go KA-BLOOEY! (Green Arrow sets it on full blast and presses the button) (Green Arrow and The Flash leave the studio) Gorge: Here it comes. (Gorge feels shaking as he falls to the floor) Gorge: What's going on? Chrome: Dammit! (cracks start forming) Gorge: Well, this is what was gonna happen in the first place, I guess... Chrome: Gorge, did you tell Sophie that cracks would hopefully form on the building? (the building gets destroyed) Gorge: Yes. (the cloud emerges to reveal 9 giant figures) Gorge: Well, whatever happened to Sophie, she needs liposuction. (one liposuction session later) (Gorge gets the tube out of Sophie's mouth) Gorge: It's out of babbleberries. It's been out of babbleberries way before the liposuction process. (Sophie hugs Gorge) Gorge: Why are you hugging me? Usually, you try not to do that very often. Sophie: Because of those two... (cut to Green Arrow and The Flash in jail) Green Arrow: We're in jail again. That's just great. The Flash: What now? Green Arrow: Sophie possibly recieved liposuction, then called 911. The Flash: I knew the liposuction was gonna happen, but not 911. (end)